5 Hilarious Things Every ‘IJGB’ Experiences When They Return Home for December Detty Season
December in Nigeria is its own season. Flights fill up, suitcases are loaded with gifts, and the “IJGBs” I Just Got Back folks- touch down in Lagos, ready to soak up home again.
No matter how long they’ve been away, there are a few things that always hit the moment they land. If you’re coming in for Detty December, here are five realities you’ll recognise right away.
1) Converting Every Price in Your Head
Old habits follow you through immigration. You’ll glance at a menu and instantly translate the bill into dollars, pounds, or euros. It feels smart , after all, the exchange rate is top of mind — but it can spark funny moments with friends who just want to enjoy suya without forex math. Before long, you learn to switch off the constant conversion, or at least keep it to yourself, so you can enjoy the moment without turning every outing into an economics class.
2) Lagos Traffic (and Its Cousins)
You planned a “quick” 20-minute run across town. Two hours later, you’re still inching forward, watching hawkers turn the highway into a moving market. Nothing reminds you you’re back like the road — sleek SUVs nudging danfos, horns singing in chorus, okadas threading through gaps that don’t exist. The first few days are pure shock; then muscle memory returns. You pad your calendar, leave early, and rediscover the strange charm of a city that never really slows down.
3) The Heat You Can Touch
Step off the plane and the air hugs you. If you’re flying in from winter, that first blast of warmth feels like stepping into a sauna you didn’t book. Add the dry kiss of harmattan, and your skin, lips, and nose immediately file a complaint. You relearn the basics fast: drink water like it’s a job, carry lip balm, and thank the inventor of cotton. By week two, the heat becomes background noise , the soundtrack of home.
4) The “Welcome Back” Billing
Nigeria has a unique economy of love. Everyone is happy you’re back — and somehow that joy comes with invoices. There are the soft asks from family, the playful nudges from friends, the random “bros abeg” from people you barely remember, and the unplanned expenses that appear like pop-ups. You’ll set boundaries, create a small “I’m around” budget, and learn to say no without guilt. The trick is to be generous without going broke, and to remember that time and presence are gifts too.
5) Detty December in Full Swing
This is the reason many IJGBs book tickets in the first place. December turns Lagos and other cities into a festival ground. It’s concerts, beach parties, day raves, weddings, homecomings, art fairs, food markets, and last-minute link-ups that somehow start at midnight. Your calendar fills faster than your battery drains, and you try to be everywhere: mainland tonight, island tomorrow, church on Sunday, owambe by afternoon. A week later, you promise to rest — right after “one last event.”