A Nigeria medical doctor, Ademola Adeyeye, has paid a heartfelt tribute to his sister who died of brain cancer a day before their younger brother’s wedding.
In a post shared on his X handle, Dr Adeyeye said his sister’s death inspired him to become a European Trained Cancer surgeon.
‘’Difficult and Decisive decisions :a tribute.
A couple of years ago I had to make 2 difficult and Decisive decisions.
I was sitting on the floor of an ICU in Nigeria, crying my eyes out. My beautiful kid sister had just died of brain cancer on the same day we were to travel for our brother’s wedding (scheduled for the following day). I blamed everything and everyone (including the almighty; Lord forgive me).
How could this have happened to someone so young, hardworking and kind? She was fine only 2 weeks ago but suddenly had a seizure at home. My heart sank when I saw the brain images fresh out of the CT scanner. Glioblastoma multiforme is one the most aggressive brain tumors and this particular variant was affecting critical parts of her nervous system. As my sister and I discussed the condition, it was obvious that our options were limited; possibly ending up as a vegetable after brain surgery and radiotherapy (if temporarily successful) or succumbing to the condition. We hugged each other and cried, knowing that it was unlikely she would see our youngest brother get married or see her two kids have a family of their own.
She made me promise that no matter what happened to her, we would continue to live our lives to the fullest. Even with the grim reaper and death staring down at her, she remained defiant and fearless. As I have always known her to be. She would rather be functional than be incapacitated by brain surgery. She then set upon the task of making videos of herself for her kids to see when they were older. She planned her son’s 5th year birthday (cakes, gifts, party etc) which was due soon because she knew she would not be able to make it. I wished I had that kind of bravery and pragmatism….
I stop crying as I soon as I remembered another dilemma: Should I advise that the wedding be called off or should the ceremony proceed ? After an hour of contemplation I made 2 decisions: one difficult and the other decisive. The wedding would go ahead as planned because I knew that was what my late sister would have wanted. So I kept the news of her demise from my parents and most of the family until after the wedding. I dusted myself, drove my parents to Lagos from Ilorin and back for the event that weekend, before breaking the news to them. It was understandably quite emotional and traumatic. I don’t think my mom ever forgave me for that stunt. I am forever grateful to our family, friends, my sister’s colleagues and the management of UBAGroup, together with our different churches, for the encouragement and support.
I also made a 2nd,decisive decision to sub-specialize in cancer surgery and research , so as to devout the rest of my medical career to doing my best to help these peculiar patients. This was the beginning of the cascade of events leading to my eventual certification as a European Trained Cancer Surgeon.
In life, there are times when painfully difficult and decisive decisions need to be taken. Many are born out of tragedy and tribulation but eventually translate to triumph. For someone out there , just be bold, be brave and Believe.
P.S: Adenike, I had something else to write about today but I had a dream about you and penned this instead. Your husband has been amazing. Your 2 kids are doing well. They now have a new mother (after so many years) and she loves them like her own. Yemisi and the rest of the family have been awesome to them. I have tried to keep my promise to you, to live life to the fullest and I hope I have made you proud. This is a tribute to you. Thank you for inspiring me.
Let’s keep inspiring each other”
