A mother-of-the-groom has been left in tears after being branded as ‘cheap’ by the bride’s family who insisted she pay for a lavish rehearsal dinner – despite her explaining she couldn’t afford it.
The details of the family feud were laid bare by the groom’s brother on the Reddit thread titled Wedding Shaming.
He explained that the bride’s ‘wealthy’ family had been insisting on a rehearsal dinner for 150 guests at a cost of $37,000 – with the entire fee to be paid by the groom’s family.
But relations spiraled out of control when the parents of the soon-to-be-husband explained that they said they could not afford it to cover such a hefty sum.
A mother-of-the-groom has been left in tears after being branded as ‘cheap’ by the bride’s family who insisted she pay for a lavish rehearsal dinner
In the post, which was shared earlier this week, the groom’s brother began: ‘My family is in the midst of this right now, and I just need to rant! Please tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that this is out of line.
‘My brother is getting married this fall to a woman who comes from a VERY wealthy, southern family (our family is solidly middle class). The bride recently picked their wedding venue, a large resort. It looks beautiful, and we’re very excited for them.’
But he said things began to take a turn for the worst after the venue was chosen.
‘My mother (the MOG) receives a call from the bride’s mother. The MOB then proceeds to tell my mom that SHE has already picked out the place for the rehearsal dinner at the resort – they want around 150 guests, and the resort caterer will be reaching out to my mother soon with the pricing information.
‘My mother is a little overwhelmed by the MOB’s pushiness, but agrees to wait and see the info from the caterer before making a decision on the rehearsal dinner.
‘Well, the info arrives, and the cheapest possible catering option for the rehearsal dinner costs $165 per person! Not even including the rental fee, or the 24 per cent service fee plus 9 per cent tax. In total, the rehearsal dinner would cost my parents almost $37,000 to host.’
Elaborating further on his family’s financial situation, the groom’s brother candidly shared: ‘My family doesn’t have that kind of money.’
‘My mother immediately calls the MOB back and says that unfortunately, they can’t afford that kind of a rehearsal dinner. She apologized extensively, and asked if they could host something less expensive at a nearby restaurant instead.
He explained that the bride’s ‘wealthy’ family had been insisting on a rehearsal dinner for 150 guests at a cost of $37,000 – with the entire fee to be paid by the groom’s family (stock image)
‘The MOB immediately grows angry, and says that that can’t be done – since all the wedding guests will already be staying at the resort hotel, and they can’t drive to an offsite restaurant since they’ll be drinking.
‘Unfortunately, at this time my mother realized that she needed to tell the MOB that actually, our family wouldn’t be staying at the resort hotel, either. We would love to, but a two-person room at the resort for that weekend starts at $550 per night, which is way too expensive for us.
‘This enraged the MOB even more, who went on to say that my parents were being “cheap” and, I quote, “The room is only $550 per night! It’s not even that much!”
‘The MOB followed this up by saying that her daughter wanted everyone to stay at the resort and have the rehearsal dinner there, and that she was going to be very disappointed when she heard this news.’
The doting son said that his mom had been left ‘crying and feeling overwhelmed’ after being ‘worried that she might be in the wrong.’
But the whole saga did not end there.
Later that evening, the groom’s father received a phone call from the bride’s father.
‘He told my dad that he was calling to “clear up any confusion” about their wives’ conversation earlier, and to reiterate why it was so important that my parents host the rehearsal dinner at the venue.
‘He talked with my dad for a long time, and eventually they compromised on a much smaller (45 person) rehearsal dinner at the resort.
‘My dad told the FOB that this was still a lot of money for them, and so they unfortunately would be staying at an Airbnb a half mile away from the resort instead of at the resort hotel to save money. He promised that our family would still make it to all of the wedding festivities.
‘The FOB responded “Well, I guess it’s the cheap option” and they hung up. The bride hasn’t communicated with my parents at all since.’
The groom’s brother concluded: ‘I really hope that this drama calms down before the actual event.’
The post was quickly flooded with comments with most rushing to defend the groom’s family
The post was quickly flooded with comments with most rushing to defend the groom’s family.
One person wrote: ‘There is never anything wrong with the reply “That’s not in my budget.”
‘There’s no shame in doing something else with your money. The groom needs to pay up or shut this down.’
A second person commented: ‘That’s just rude. In situations like this, where there’s a big difference in income, the wealthier family takes care of it, if they expect this level.’
Another added: ‘If this is the in-law’s expectations, then they need to pay for it. Their rudeness and openly demonstrated lack of breeding and manners would have me reevaluating everything.’
Someone else commented: ‘If the parents of the bride are deciding where the event (the rehearsal dinner) is being held, and doing the guest list for the event, then they are officially the hosts, and they get to pay for it.’
But, on the other hand, there were some readers who thought that the fault was with the bride and groom
But, on the other hand, there were some readers who thought that the fault was with the bride and groom.
One person wrote: ‘This is crazy. Your parents shouldn’t be made to feel this way nor should they be forced to spend on this. Your brother and his fiancée need to deal with this themselves. Talk to your brother!’
Someone else commented: ‘I hope their daughter hears about this and steps up. This is not a healthy way to build a family. Resentments will last for YEARS.
‘Maybe share this post with the bride and groom to clue them in on what’s going on. At least give them a chance to intervene.’
Another shared: ‘I sincerely hope the bride is appalled by her parents discourteous behavior. What bullies. Can’t be very decent people.’
‘Why are the parents making all these decisions instead of the couple that’s actually getting married?’ another person added.
One person quipped: ‘Nearly 50 thousand [dollars] so people can practice walking then eating is actually pretty amusing.’
