The meaning of al-Talaq linguistically and legislatively is the same.
It means to lift the restriction of marriage and to end it immediately – or to end it after the passing o f a specific amount of time (i.e. with the option to take one’s wife back).
It is to end the marriage without any compensation. It occurs by direct statements, such as ‘You are divorced.’
It also occurs by indirect statements, such as ‘You are free,’ or ‘Catch up to your family,’ or ‘Go to your family.’ All of these statements are indirect.
Divorce also occurs by way of gestures for a person who cannot speak. It also occurs by way of writing.
Below are some of the most prevalent reasons for divorce.
Weak Religiosity:
One of the most prevalent reasons for divorce is weak religious restraints by both spouses, or one of them – from the angle of not perform ing prayer, not fearing Allah concerning their actions, not performing the rights of Allah and not carrying out the rights of the spouse. And this is whether this emanates from the male or the female.
Bad Manners Displayed by the Woman or the Man:
Just as it is said:
“The punishm ent o f a man is the awful character o f his wife.”
And it is possible that the man is the one w ith foul character. It is not always the woman who is the one with poor character. For this reason, this speech is directed at both genders. Perhaps, I myself, am the one who needs [to hear] this speech the most.
Bad mannerisms are a reason for the decline of the condition o f martial life. How many times do we hear about the vile character o f the wife towards her husband: She is arrogant towards him, she yells at him, and she tries to overpower him by using words and actions that will make him angry. And it is possible that it is the man w ho is like this. W e ask Allah for well-being.
Spreading Secrets:
It is possible that the wife is a chatterbox. N o w ord remains in her m outh or on her tongue concerning w hat takes place between her and her husband. It does not m atter w hether it is im portant or not important; she spreads it to her companions and friends.
“We went…” “We left…” “We stayed…” “We spoke…” “We ate…” “W e drank…” etc.
Nothing remains in her mouth. She may chatter to her friends or her mother. It is possible that this is a trial for a man, too. He might be a chatterbox.
In these situations, a man is no t pleased w ith a wife like this; not a single secret remains in her home. He may remain patient for a month, a year – but he may no t remain patient the whole of his life. He will be forced to divorce her to protect himself from her evil.
A Lack o f Affection and Intimacy from Both Spouses or One of Them:
This is also som ething that occurs. There are many complaints in our court systems, and some o f them are due to w hat we referred to: wom en requesting their rights to intimacy.
This is because the husband may not be able to fulfill her desires, so many divorces happen because o f these reasons.
Exhibiting Controlling Behavior:
It is said about this type of wife that she is controlling. It is said about her that she loves an excess amount of control; she wants dictatorship over her husband and over her life.
Devilish whisperings also enter into this. She also does not want him to love anyone except for her.
She becomes annoyed if she sees him respecting his mother, bonding with her and carrying out her requests.
She becomes annoyed if she see him caring for his brothers and sisters, and she dictates to him.
She does not want him to display love and care for anyone except for her. She wants him to submit to only her. She wants to be his dictator.
This is the type of wife, if she continues with this type of behavior, then it would be acceptable for him to divorce her.
The Salary of the Wife:
It occurs in these times that if the wife is a doctor, a teacher or a worker, and she has a salary, then indeed this salary, for some and maybe many people – has caused misery, wretchedness, separation and problems within martial life.
The husband wants some o f her salary, her m other wants some o f her salary and her father wants some o f her salary, yet she needs her salary.
Thus, the salary becomes a torment for her and her family; and by family I intend martial life.
Everybody is focused on the worldly life, thus the martial life is spoiled because o f this wealth. This is something that occurs in our society.
The Husband Hastily Divorcing His Wife:
Some husbands, they do not have any patience, nor any deliberation. They are quick to act and they become enraged quickly.
In reality, this type of man needs a muzzle on his mouth, and he needs to learn deliberation and patience.
He must learn that marital life is not [always] a bed of beautiful flowers, and that it is not [always] fertile earth and moist land; rather, there are thorns in the path, and there are floods and mountains.
It is upon the man to embody the role Allah has placed him in, so he does not display haste, nor does he become irate. He must be forbearing, patient, measured and seek the aid of Allah.
He is not rash. Anger does not bring forth good. Therefore, as long as Allah has placed divorce in your hand, O slave o f Allah, then you be as great as the responsibility.
Source; Divorce: Its Reasons and Its Cures by Shaykh Abu Furayhan Jamal Ibn Furayhan al-Harithi, Translation by Jamil Finch.
