A happy and fulfilling relationship sees both partners put in equal effort to make their relationship thrive. It makes things easier when they appreciate and respect the efforts being made. What doesn’t help is when one or both people, start taking things for granted. It damages the relationship, making the partner, who’s being taken for granted, start facing self-esteem issues and also feel resentful towards their loved one.
It’s very important to know what ‘being taken for granted’ means, why it happens, and what to do when it’s happening to you.
Relationships always start out warm and fuzzy, however, as time passes, many people begin to overlook their partner’s efforts and gestures and feel entitled to everything their partner does for them. Many people also tend to get very comfortable in the relationship and stop putting in the effort to make their partner feel special or loved. Not only is this super unhealthy, but also very damaging to the relationship and the people involved.
It’s important to be aware of the signs, so here’s what you need to look out for.
They’ve stopped being thankful
If your partner doesn’t acknowledge your efforts or express gratitude towards you for making them feel loved, it’s a sign you’re being taken for granted. You might think your efforts are trivial, but the least your partner can do is be thankful for everything you do for them or for just how loving and caring you are towards them.
They make important decisions without you
Things your partner says and does in a relationship affect both of you. If they make a decision about something that affects both of you, without asking for your opinion, it’s a bad sign. It signifies that don’t think you bring anything to the table with regard to your thoughts and ideas. Moreover, if they make plans without asking you, it shows that they don’t respect you or your time, considering you might have other commitments.
You’re the only one making plans
Respect and effort in a relationship are a two-way street. If you’re the only one who’s making plans, you are going out of your way to make this relationship work. Unfortunately, you’re being taken for granted. Spending quality time together is a love language that sees both people in the relationship give each other undivided love, time and attention. Be it simple or grand, indoors or time spent outdoors, what matters is the moments that you make because you’re in the company of your special one. In today’s fast-paced world, where everyone is busy, it’s our partners who we make time for more than anyone else. It is crucial in the long run as spending not just time, but quality time together sees you foster an emotional connection, builds trust, reduces your stress as you’re with your loved one, and creates new memories for you and them to remember and cherish.
Doing all of this is great, but being the only one isn’t. A healthy relationship is a partnership. If you’re the one making the plans, there’s a good chance that you’re doing the heavy lifting and all the chasing in the relationship. And this is a sign of them taking you for granted. This just makes you feel that you’re talking to yourself, tired, physically and emotionally drained, and start to second-guess your worth and the relationship, and watch the plans you make for them see you change your schedule more than they have to change theirs.
A sure shot way to prevent this is to stop making any initiative. Watch their response to get an idea of where you stand in this relationship.
They put their needs above yours
A happy relationship sees the needs and desires of both parties being given equal importance. When they start putting their needs over yours, know that you’re being taken for granted because they no longer value your wants and needs. Them being selfish and self-centered sees them prioritise their gain without considering the impact it will have on the relationship. This could mean them making a plan when you’re caught up with something, them making a decision fully knowing that it doesn’t allign with what you want-yet ignore it. Or simply forget something that you’ve been reminding them about because they didn’t think it was important for them.
You don’t want to be someone who always says yes to your partner in the relationship and lets them do what they want just to keep the relationship going. It will make you wear down with you eventually start to want out of the relationship. If they aren’t ready to put your needs ahead of their own, they shouldn’t be in love with you to begin with. Because it’s a love they’re not capable of giving.
A change in communication and conversation
It’s time to think about the relationship and the person you’re with if they’re always in a hurry when you’re talking to them. If they’re no longer listening to you, if conversations with them are short, and if you see them wiggle their way out of conversations with you, you’re dealing with a partner who’s taking you for granted. As previously mentioned, your partner is probably doing so because they think your thoughts and what you have to say don’t matter.
Your partner is usually the first person you go to when you want to talk. But if they don’t share the same sentiment as you and reciprocate your emotions with silence and distance, they are taking you for granted. What makes things worse is that they only initiate a conversation when they need something from you. Them fulfilling their selfish interests is unhealthy and another red flag to watch out for.
They aren’t interested in your goals and dreams
In a relationship, your hobbies, dreams, and ambitions should matter to your partner as much as their own. In addition to loving you for who you are, your partner should also want to know about you and what makes you so special because it’s such an important part of your personality. If you’re excited about something new in your life and share it with them only to see them ignore you or discourage what you have planned, this feeling of disappointment, anger, and hurt is a sign that they’ve taken you for granted.
They never say “sorry”
Fights and arguments are inevitable in any relationship. However, your partner refusing to acknowledge what happened and apologise for their actions is never okay. In their mind, you’re always going to be there regardless of how they behave towards you. A person can and should be able to take accountability for their actions and apologise for the same.
They refuse to compromise
In a relationship, partners will always agree to disagree. What’s important is for both people to figure things out and work toward a solution that suits them. If they don’t compromise and instead compete with your needs, never consider your opinions, wants, and needs, and always insist on having things their way, it’s a clear sign that they’re taking you for granted.
This needs to stop. So the next you and your partner argue and they refuse to budge, let them know how it makes you feel. Long story short, their feels and wants are not more important than yours, and if they continue such unhealthy behaviour, it’s time to consider walking out of the relationship.
Your boundaries aren’t respected
When your partner doesn’t value you, it’s easy for them to cross boundaries despite you having communicated this to them repeatedly. You are entitled to your privacy and personal space, and you deserve someone who understands and respects that.
